


Wherever you Will Go

by BrittKate26



Category: Castle (TV 2009)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26045599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrittKate26/pseuds/BrittKate26
Summary: Takes places after Kate is shot in the season three finale and the time she spent at her father's cabin before she returns to work.
Relationships: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another one of my older stories moved over from FF.net to here.

The view she woke up to this morning was not that of what she was use to seeing this time of day. The world outside was not like it was in the city. It was quite. Dead quite. Maybe dead was the wrong choice of words for her to be using especially now given everything that she has been through recently. She stood on the front porch of the cabin and looked out over the lake. It was nice here, it was really peaceful and given any other situation Kate really loved it here. Growing up, this was one of her favorite places in the world to be. She loved coming here for Thanksgiving, Holidays and random family trips through out the year. But after her mother...this place turned into something else entirely. It turned into an escape for her father. Her father used it back then to escape the tragedy that surrounded the lose of his wife, and now.. now she was using it is an escape from the things she was not ready to face. 

Kate grabbed her coffee cup off the porch railing. She turned one more time to take in the view of the sun just starting to rise over the waters of the lake. She had to get herself together, she had t o get stronger. The only problem with this was she didn't know how to. How was she supposed to be strong when she was weak? How was she supposed to be ok when everything around her suddenly terrified her? Every time she heard a sudden noise she felt her heart stop, and the burn of the scar she now wore between her breasts reminded her why. The birds, the shot of a hunters gun in the woods, the closing of a car door, simple things like this were more then she could handle right now. This was one of the reason she decided to get away from everybody and everything right now. So she could find herself. Who ever she might be now. 

Kate re-entered the cabin and placed her coffee cup in the sink. Her head hurt, everything hurt if she was being honest with herself. She wished she could just sleep past the next few weeks, and wake up to the time when everything wold be normal again. The only problem was she knew nothing would ever be the same as it was before no matter how hard she tried to make it that way. Shit could never go back. Unfortunate, sleep was another thing she could not handle right now. Her once peaceful dreams are now darkened with the events of that day. Every time she closed her eyes she was right back there again. She felt the impact and the sting of the bullet, she felt the ground beneath her back. She would feel Castle's body hovering above her, she was so close to him she could feel his breath on her face as she fought with all she had not to close her eyes. Then she heard it those words. The three words he said to her that changed everything. 

Somewhere deep down she knew he had always felt that way for her, but hearing the words out loud. Not knowing if she would ever be able to say them back to him overwhelmed her. Then some days the nightmares would take her somewhere else entirely. Some days she would wake up in the hospital, only when she opened her eyes it wasn't doctors the surrounded her. It was her friends. Castle, Ryan, Espo, Lanie, they would all be saying things to her. Whispers she could barely make out. She would try to open her mouth and speak to them. To ask them what they were saying and why they were whispering, and it was then she would realize she was dead. That was about the time she wake up screaming in the middle of the night. 

This was going to be a long road to recovery. Kate Beckett, was glad she was here alone, so no one could see her fall part. So nobody could see her scared, vulnerable side she did her best to keep hidden. Then sometimes....sometimes she wished she had someone here to talk to, and not just someone but him. She laughed at how ridiculous she sounded even to herself. The fact was Castle was probably so caught up in whatever the hell it was he was up in that he had not even given her a second thought. 11 times now she had taken her phone out and stared at his picture on her contact id. 11 times, she had almost called him just to hear the sound of his voice, just to see if he could make her laugh in a way only he knew how to do when things were at the worst. 11 times she had almost given into to him, but fear stopped every single damn time. 

1 week, 7 days, 168 hours, 35 minuets, it had been since he saw her that day in the hospital, since she said she would call him. It was crazy how he couldn't make it past the second day without wondering when she would call. Every time the phone rang, he jumped up as fast as possible to answer it, hopping against all odds it was her, and that she had missed him the way he was missing her now. But, sadly to his disappointment it never was. Damn it, why didn't he just take out the damn phone and call her himself. Shit he could even tell her something a lame as I didn't mean to call you just to have a reason to hear her voice and ask her how she has been. 

Castle had gotten use to seeing her everyday going this long with out seeing her didn't feel right. Late at night, when he should be sleeping he would find himself sitting in his office attempting to finish his his latest novel but nothing happened. No words came to him. All he did was sit there daydreaming, or night dreaming whatever it is you want to call it about her. He would wonder what she was doing in that cabin all alone. He wondered how bad she hurt, was she still in pain? He wondered if she knew he was thinking about her every three seconds, and if she ever thought of him too when she was alone at night and could not sleep. Castle honestly didn't know how long he could go on like this without seeing her. On the 8th day he knew what he had to do. He had to see her. He gathered what things he thought he would need, left a note for his mother and set out to find what was constantly on his mind. He knew she was at her father;s cabin he didn't know exactly where the cabin in question was. It didn't take him long to get the answers he needed. He headed south to where he knew he would find her at. 

He watched as the city started to slowly fade away, and the scenery around him turned more and more relaxing. He could almost see Kate growing up in a place like this. He could imagine her at ten years old running around with her dad, her hair pulled back into a side pony tail, with those few strands that never wanted to stay back hanging in her hazel eyes. He smiled at the thought of this childhood he had created for her. It was four hour drive from the city for him to make it to his destination. When he got out of the car he started to worry. What if she didn't want him hear? What if she blamed him? Castle sighed and made his way to the front door. This was a chance he was going to have to take if he wanted to see her. He stood at the front door gathering his courage to knock. He was afraid of what she might, but he was more afraid of not being with her. So he exhaled the breath he had been holding in, and softly knocked on the wooden door so he didn't startle her. 

He could hear the sounds of movement on the other side of the door, so he knew she was there. The door opened, and there she was. She didn't even look up to meet his eyes at first. She squinted at the bright lights of mid afternoon sun seemed to be overpowering her eyes. Castle quickly took in her appearance, she was wearing black leggings, and grey t shirt that said NYPD on it. Her hair was down and it was a hot mess. But when she looked up after her eyes and adjusted from the intrusion of the sun, that is what broke him. Her once beautiful hazel eyes that always radiate such life and happiness were now vacant. He could tell she had not been sleeping and thought alone almost brought him to tears. 

"Castle?" She questioned. 

"Hi Kate." 

It took Kate a second before the initial shock of seeing him wore off. 

"Castle, what are you doing here?" 

"Looking for you." 

"Well congratulations you found me." She said as she walked away from the door leaving it open so he could follow her back into the safety of the cabin. 

Once they were back inside Kate, plopped herself back down on the couch. Castle looked around the small cozy cabin. The first thing he noticed is that it was a mess. This was not like her had never know her to have a messy apartment. In fact she had always gotten on to him about needing to learn to clean up after himself and not to be a slob. This was the first sign that she was not alright. In some ways he had hoped she was alright and in others he knew in his heart that she would not be no matter what she said. This isn't the kind of thing you can just get over. 

"Can I sit?" He asked casually trying not crowd her personal space. 

"Sure Castle." She said. Kate didn't look at him she left her head resting on her hand that was propped up on the arm of the couch. 

"Headache?" He asked. 

"Among other things." 

"You look like you could use some sleep." 

"I could use a lot of things. That doesn't mean I am going to get them." She said bitterly. 

"Maybe, you could if you let me help you." 

"No one can help me Castle." 

"You don't know that. You haven't even let me try. I can at least clean this mess up for you and cook you something to eat." He offered. 

"Castle, I am too tired to argue with you." 

"Then for once in your life don't argue." He replied. 

He couldn't see her face she was still hiding it in her hands, but he could tell she was smiling. He could see the sides of her cheek moving up in half ass attempt to smile. Kate sighed and that was when he knew he had won this round. He stood up from the couch and stopped right in front of Kate. 

"Come on." Castle said as he took her hand that was resting on her leg. Kate uncovered her face for the first time since they had started talking. She wanted to be mad at him, she wanted to yell at him to go the hell away and let her deal with her problems alone. But when she looked up and was met with his blue eyes everything changed. 

"Where are we going?' She asked. 

"I am not going anywhere. You are going to sleep while I clean this place up and try to find us something for dinner." 

"You know if I wasn't so tired I protest this." 

"I have no doubts about that. Now go to sleep." He ordered her. 

Kate walked into her bedroom of the cabin and shut the door behind her. She laid across the bed without even bothering to get under the blanket. Why bother she thought to herself sleep never lasts long. 

Once Castle heard the click of the bedroom door he started to work. The where so many things he wanted to ask her, but he knew right now was not the time for that. He didn't want to push her, he just wanted to be there for her. He just wanted to show her that if she needed someone that he could be that someone for her. Castle didn't even notice the time until he heard the soft whimpers coming from Kate's room. He made his way to her door. "Beckett." He called. Nothing. He knocked softly, "Kate." Still nothing. He stood there waiting for her to answer though she never did. Castle took a deep breath, "She is going to kill me for this." He said out loud to no one has he opened her door and went into her room. 

He sat down next to her on the bed, and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. "Beckett." 

With that she bolted straight up out of bed. Her eyes were wide with fear and horror. She clearly didn't know where she was or what had just happened. Her breathing was labored, and the trembling of her hands didn't go unnoticed by Castle as she ran them through her hair. 

"It was just a dream." Castle said trying to calm his very frantic partner down. Kate didn't say anything she just jumped up off the bed and stormed out of the bedroom. 

"Kate are you ok?" He asked following behind her. 

"What do you think?" Do I look ok to you? What do you want me to say?" 

"I don't want you to say anything you don't want to. I just want you to calm down." Castle explained. 

"I wish I could." She said as she sat on the couch and hid her face behind her hands. She tried to hard not cry in front of him. 

"You can. Its ok to fall apart Kate. You don't have to be strong all the time." He said sitting down beside her. 

"Why are you even here Castle? You shouldn't see me like this. No one should." 

"Don't worry I wont tell anyone you cried." He said rubbing his hand gently over her back as he tried to calm her down. Kate laughed through her tears. Only Castle, had that affect on her. Only he could make her smile when her whole world was crashing down around her. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Will this ever end? Will I ever be me again?” She asked. 

“I am sure it will Kate, and you are still you.” 

“No I am not. I'm a mess Castle. A freaking mess.” She said angry at nobody but herself. 

“A beautiful mess.” He replied. 

“There is nothing beautiful about me now. Everything I was, everything I stood for that sniper took it all away from me that day in the cemetery.” 

“Nothing is ever lost until the day we stop fighting for it. So we are going to do what we do best, and fight for it. You can get through this I promise Kate.” Castle explained he playfully nudged her shoulder with his own. 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because I am not giving up on you. And you know when I get my mind set on something I never stop until I get my way.” 

Kate turned her head to the left to look at the man sitting next to her. How did he change so much in four years? How had she not seen all this before? There was so much more to him then she had never noticed, a softer side, a loving side that he had never let show until now. But why was he showing it now? Was it Love? Friendship? Pity, no it wasn’t that he would never do her that way and even she knew that. 

Castle glanced down at his watch. It was just a little after six now. He knew Kate must be hungry by now, hell he was. Poor thing looked liked she had lost so much weight after her shooting it just broke his heart to think about it. 

“You Hungry?” He asked. 

She nodded her head and faked a smile. “I was going to cook for you but there is nothing to really cook. Is there somewhere to eat at around here?” 

“There is a dinner in town not far.” She explained. 

“Alright, then why don’t you get dressed, and then I will buy us some dinner?” 

“Ok.” Said barely loud enough for him to hear. 

Castle watched as Kate disappeared into her room. Kate stood in front of the mirror that was on the back of door. It was terrifying her reflection. She barely even recognized herself these days. She sighed and grabbed the bottom of the shirt she had been wearing and pulled it over her head. Then she saw it, the bandage that was still covering her scar. She still kept it cover even though it was healing the new skin was still tender and rubbed against her clothing sometimes. She had to turn away the thought of seeing herself this way made her sick. She turned her back on her reflection and sat out to find something she could wear out tonight. When Kate had finally emerged from the bedroom she looked more like the Beckett, Castle was use to seeing everyday. She had on a simple pair of jeans, a purple button down shirt, her hair was brushed and fell loosely around her shoulders. 

“There she is. There is my partner. Now come on woman I am starving.” Castle said. 

“Somethings never change.” She said as the two of them made their way to the front door. 

Castle drove, with the assistance of Kate’s direction to where the diner was located at. She sat quietly and never said a word until it was time to tell Castle where to turn at. Castle could tell something was wrong she had a distance look as she looked out the window almost as if she was avoiding something. 

“Hey. Are you ok?” He asked. 

Kate never once turned to look at him, “This is the first time I have been out since I have been here.” She admitted. 

“Why didn’t you say something? We can just take something back to the cabin if you like.” He offered. 

“Its ok. I needed to do this. It was only a matter of days before I was going to have to go to town and get groceries.” 

“Are you ready for this?” He asked. 

“I don’t know. There is only way to find out.” She said. 

When they pulled up outside a place called “Angie’s” Castle turned the car off. He waited silently as he watched her gathering her courage to leave the safety of the car. Kate grabbed the door handle and stepped out into the world outside. Before she even shut the door back he was there at her side. She took comfort in the fact that he was there. 

The bell on the door dinged as it announced the arrival of its two newest costumers. Kate looked around the entire room taken inventory of the entire place in less then ten seconds. “You want to sit there?” Castle asked pointing to a small table in the back right corner of the place. Kate sat on the side where she could see everyone as they came in and out of the building. Castle took out the menu as he tried to decided what he would like to eat tonight. Kate had no interest in the menu Castle noticed all she was watching was the people that were surrounding them. 

“The bacon cheeseburger sounds really good. What do you want?” He looked up to meet Kate’s eyes that were all over the place. He reached out laying his hand gently on hers that was laying on the table. That did it, that got her attention. “What do you want to eat Kate?” He tried again. 

“Fries and a chocolate shake is fine.” 

“That’s all you want? Aren’t you starving by now?” 

Kate held her head down looking at the table. “I cant eat much. It makes me sick.” She admitted almost embarrassed with herself. 

“I am sorry. I didn't know." 

“Its ok. It wont be this way forever. Its getting better slowly.” She said. 

The two of them ate their meal in comfortable silence each not really sure what to say to the other. When a waitress in the back dropped a stack of plates, Kate nearly knocked the table over trying to get out of there so fast. “Beckett.. Kate.” He called out after her but she just kept going until she was outside away from everyone. Castle paid for their meals and quickly set out to find her. 

“There you are.” Castle said as he made his way over to where she was standing. 

“Castle, I thought that..”

“I know.” He said. 

“Why does this keep happening to me? Everywhere I go, everything I do all comes back to the god damn shooting.” Kate said angry. 

“Its natural to be afraid Kate. After everything you have survived you have earned the right to be afraid.” 

“But what happens when that fear controls you?” She asked. 

“You don’t let. Fear is normal part of who we are we just have to put in into perspective.” Castle replied. 

“Can we just go back to the cabin now?” 

“Of course we can.” Castle replied. 

By the time they had made it back the cabin the sky was radiating with pink and orange as the last traces of daylight faded into the night. 

“Were you going to stay here with me?” Kate asked as she took her jacket off and tossed it on the sofa. 

“Unless you are planning on kicking me out or something?” He joked. 

“No Castle you can stay. Come on I will show you to the other room.” 

“Thanks.” 

Castle followed Kate down the narrow hallway of the cabin. Until now, he had never really took a good look around the place. It was a small two bedroom cabin. When you entered the front door it came into the living room that had a fireplace, a sofa, and two ugly ass green and red striped chairs he could only assume her father picked out. Off to the left side was Kate’s room with her bathroom. It you went to the right it was the kitchen, and through the kitchen was the back door that led to the porch with the swing on it. 

“This is the other bathroom, and this is the other bed room.” Kate said as she opened the door. Kate stood their silently as Castle looked around the room. There was a pale shade of purple curtains, on the dresser next to the window there was a tiny pink teddy bear holding a heart that said princess on it. 

“I take it this use to be your room?” Castle said pointing to the bear. 

“Nothing gets passed you dose it? My dad won that bear for me at the fair the summer before my mom died.” Kate explained. 

Castle sat his bag down on the bed. He picked up a picture frame that sat next to the bed. Castle noticed Jim right away in the photo, he had his arm around Kate’s mother who was sitting in front of a Christmas tree with a tiny girl in a white dress with red hair bows in her hair on her lap.

“Baby Beckett.” Castle said amused. 

“I was almost two in that picture.” She said. 

“You have a beautiful family.” 

“Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days like that. Back before my mom was murdered, before my dad almost drank himself to death. Before I was shot.” She said the last part barely loud enough Castle almost didn’t hear it . 

“At least you have something to hold on to.” He said. 

“Goodnight Castle.” 

“Goodnight Kate.” 

It was a little after 3 am when Kate kicked the covers off her. She made her way towards the kitchen, she knew she couldn’t risk sleeping again or them damn nightmares would be back. Kate switched the small lamp on that was next to the coffee table. 

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Castle asked from his spot on the farthest end of the couch. 

“Jesus Castle.” Kate said as she rested her hand over the scar on her chest. 

“I am sorry.” 

“Its ok. Its not your fault I am always on edge.” 

“Yeah well I should have known better.” 

Kate shrugged her shoulders and sat down directly beside him. 

“You know why I cant sleep. So what has you up at this hour?” Kate asked. 

“Same reason your awake.” 

“Oh you dreamed you got shot too?” 

“No smart ass. I am awake cause I have the same nightmare I have had every night since that day.” He admitted. 

“Tell me about.” Kate 

“Kate I..”

“Castle, I can feel the sting of the bullet as it hits my chest. I feel the ground at my back I see you there blurry but you are there. I hear Lanie and feel her hands pressing into the bullet wound. I just know I am going to die there on the ground. That is what I see every time I close my eyes.” Kate explained. 

“I watch you die every night in my arms and there is nothing I can do about it.” Castle admit. 

Kate laid her down on his shoulder, “Kate..”

“Shhh, not now lets just not. Lets just sit here and keep the nightmares away.” She said. 

“Shall we watch a movie then?” Castle asked as he grabbed the remotes of the near by table. 

“Sounds fine with me.” 

“Do you want to chose?” Castle offered. 

“No, just don’t pick a horror movie I have a had enough of that in real life.” 

“Understood.” Castle said. 

It wasn't until Castle's neck started hurting that he woke up that morning. He yawned and looked around the room trying to remember where he was. He looked down to his left side to find Kate with her head laying on his chest, one arm wrapped tightly around his waist. Ok, well this is certainly not how he thought he would wake up this morning. But he sure didn't mind having the warm body of Katherine Beckett pressed firmly against him. She looked so peaceful sleeping there by his side. Her face was relaxed, her breathing was even, and somehow he could tell she was somewhere happy in her dreams. Was he the reason? He could only hope that he was. Castle wanted to make them coffee and breakfast but there was no way in hell he was going to risk waking this sleeping angel in his arms. Beckett started to stir, and Castle was prepared to wake her from her nightmare. Only the nightmare never came. She yawned and opened her eyes, and looked up to find his blue eyes waiting to meet her own. 

"You slept." Castle said. 

Kate sat up, she looked at the clock above the fireplace. "Wow almost five hours. And no nightmare." 

"How about I make us some coffee?" Castle asked. 

"That sounds good." Kate yawned again and slowly stood from the couch stretching out her sore muscles. 

"You ok?" 

"Yeah I am just sore from sleeping on you." 

"Well next time we should use the bed." He joked. 

Kate smiled, and that was the first real smile he had seen since his arrival. He could tell it wasn't faked or forced cause when she smiled, when she really smiled you could see it in her eyes, and he did. He saw it. "And on that note I am going to get dressed." Kate said. 

"Why? I like you like this?" Castle said tugging on the bottom of the baggy t shirt she was wearing. Kate rolled her eyes before she turned and headed towards her room. 

Kate didn't know what had happened in the last few hours, but she felt something, something she hasn't felt since her shooting. She was happy, and he was the reason. Maybe he could help her get passed this she thought to herself. Kate had always been so guarded since she lost her mother, she always kept walls around her heart to keep people away. Most people it had worked well with, but with him he came crashing in walls or not and that said something. 

Everything around her was starting to change. Her life, her feelings. But why now? Maybe it was time for her to give love another chance. Maybe it was time to take down the last barriers around her heart, and let someone in. Maybe it was him. Maybe he was the one that was going to be able to fix her broken pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been almost two hours now since Castle and Beckett had left the cabin and ventured out into the town. Castle watched her closely as they walked up and down the streets of the small town. It was truly beautiful here this time of year the leaves were decorated with a lovely shade of red and orange. "I had forgotten how beautiful this place was in the fall." Kate said. She was a sight to see today. She had on a simple pair of jeans, a white sweater, her hair was down with a black clip that held the sides back. She was incredible Castle thought to himself. 

"Its breathtaking." He said his eyes never once leaving her. 

"I haven't spent a fall up here since I was 18." 

"Why not?" Castle questioned. 

"After my mom, my dad came here all the time. He would disappear for weeks at a time. He took her death really hard. That is when he started drinking. He came here to drink, to cry and I guess in his own way he came here to remember my mom to be close to her again." Kate explained. 

"What about you?" 

"I spent my 18th birthday here it was the last time I was here until last week, After my mom died I felt like I had let this place in order to move on." 

"So what made you decide to come back here now after all these years?" 

"I didn't want to be around people. I didn't want my dad, Lanie or you to see me fall apart. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love spiral out of control and there is nothing you can do about it. I didn't want to out my family and friends through that. When I was at home in the city the first few days I kept all the blinds shut, the doors locked, the noises of the city outside was just too much for me. I had to come to terms with everything that had happened that day. So I kind of ran." 

Kate reached out and grabbed Castle's arm to stop the pleasurably stroll they had been on down main-street. "Come on." Kate said as she took his hand and let him into a small bakery. When they entered the bakery they were taken over by the wonderful smells of fresh baked bread. There were cupcakes, cakes, brownies, cookies all kinds of sweet delicious treats to chose from held in a display case. 

"Can I help you?" An older man said as she came out of the back wiping the flour on his hands onto the apron he had tied around he waste. 

Castle pointed to Kate who had her back turned in the other direction. "It was her idea to come in here I just came along for the ride." 

"I was going to get us some fresh bread for dinner." Kate said turning around to face to the men behind her. 

"Katie?" The older man asked. 

Kate smiled, "Oh my god Mr. James I didn't know you were still here. Last I heard you had moved to New Jersey." 

" We did. It only lasted about two years then Liz wanted to move home. She was homesick. So here we are." The man explained. 

"Oh I am sorry. Mr. James this is Rick Castle." 

"Nice to meet you. My daughter loves your books by the way." 

James was bagging the items the two of them had chosen, "Kate what brings you here after all these years?" 

"I..."

Castle jumped in, "She had a vacation time off from work, and agreed to show me where she grew up at. Its something to do with the next book I am planning as you know my books are all about her." Castle explained helping Kate find a cover story for as to why she had returned here. 

"So you two are together then?" 

Castle reached out taking Kate's hand in his, "We are." 

"That explains a lot then." James said. 

James handed them the bagged items. "Well you two enjoy your stay. I cant tell you how much you look like your mother Katie." 

"Thank you." Kate said as she took the bag from the older man .

"Are you ok? " Castle asked once the two of them had cleared the shop. 

"Yeah. I..I just wasn't expecting that." Kate said as she stopped for a moment to lean against the brick wall. 

"Its alright I got your back." Castle said. 

Kate exhaled trying to compose herself, "I know you do." 

"Come on you look tired. Lets go home and you can rest while I make something for us to eat. "

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She questioned. 

"The way I see it is, you let me follow you around and annoy all day long at work. The least I can do is feed you." 

"Seems fair." Kate said with a smile. 

It didn't take them long to make it back the cabin. Once they did Kate was literally worn out. This was most she had done she had been had out the hospital. They pulled the car into the gravel road and killed the engine. Kate made her way around the back of the car to help Castle gather the groceries that they had purchased in town today. Kate reached out for the first bag, but Castle's hand closed around her tiny wrist before she could make it to the bag. 

"If you think I am letting you carry any of this you are wrong." He explained. 

"Castle, you cant carry all this in alone it will take you three trips." 

"I don't care if takes ten you are not carrying it." 

"Castle." 

"Look if you are really want to help then here carry the bread." He said handing her the bag they had gotten from the bakery. 

Kate rolled her eyes at him. Kate took the bread and made her way into the cabin. Since when the hell did she let Castle tell her what to do? She thought to herself as she laid the bread on the counter. About five minuets later Castle had all of their bags inside the cabin. Kate worked her way around the kitchen helping Castle as they unloaded the bags. On her third trip by him Castle gently stopped her movements by resting his hand on her hip as she went to reach for a top cabinet. "Go sit down I got this." He said. 

"Castle I can do this." 

"I am sure you can. But you have done a lot of walking today, and I am willing to bet this is the most active you have been since you been home. Kate I can tell by the way you are moving you are in pain. You don't have to try and impress anyone here. Go sit. Let me do this please." 

Kate decided that why Castle was cooking dinner that she would try to lay down for a little while. Her intentions were not to sleep but just rest her tired sore body right now. Truth was she didn't want to risk another damn nightmare. It had been about 40 minuets since Kate had gone into her room when Castle herd cry out for him. Without thinking or caring he rushed into her room and was by her side in a instant. Kate sat up in her bed with her back facing away from him. 

"Kate." He tried. 

She shook her head no, but Castle knew how fragile she was right now. Taking the chance he reached out, grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her tiny frame back against his chest. "I got you Kate." He said. Kate didn't fight, she just let Castle hold her as she cried into his arms. 

He didn't know how long had passed, and he didn't care either he just held her. She let go of everything that had building up inside her, her fears, her doubts everything. Finally her body began to relax against him when her violent sobs were nothing more then slight tremors through her body. The room fell silent and nothing could be heard but the slow breathing of Kate as she tried to gain her composure back after her breakdown. Castle looked down to see that Kate had fallen asleep in his arms. He wondered to himself how long it had been since she had slept through the night. Gently, he moved so he could lay Kate down on her bed. Once she was laying on her left side, Castle reached over and brushed the hair out of her eyes. Castle turned to leave, but Kate reached out grabbing his wrist. 

"Stay with me." Was all she said. 

Castle looked down at tired hazel eyes and he saw the slightest trace of fear in them. Castle didn't ask her why, he didn't ask her if she was sure, he just laid down in the bed next to her on his back against the headboard of her king size bed. "Come here." He said. That was all she needed to hear. 

Kate laid her head down on his chest, and rested one hand on his stomach. Castle wasn't sure what had prompted Kate to ask him to stay. He didn't know where this sudden courage of hers was coming from, but he was thankful for it. He wanted more then anything to be there for her, he always had but especially now. Now that she needed him. He hated watching her hurt. He hated seeing this brave fearless woman be so afraid. Castle could feel the tension in Kate's body as she laid against him. 

"Its ok sleep. I got you." Castle said he started to gently rub her back. 

By about the fourth time of his hand movements across her back he could feel it, the moment her body relaxed against his. "What if the nightmares come back?" She questioned. 

"Then I will chase them away." 

It didn't take long for Kate to fall asleep in his arms. Castle just watched her for the longest time as she slept soundly in his arms. Castle had always wondered what this would be like. To fall asleep with her in his arms, to have her body laying against his own, to be able to feel her breath on his neck as she gently exhaled every time. "Sweet Dreams Kate." He whispered as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

The aggravating buzz of Castle's phone on the nightstand woke him later that afternoon. He opened his eyes to find that his head was resting on top of Kate's head. Her arm was slung completely over him and one of her legs was entangled with his own. He glanced over to see who disturbing him. Gina, it fucking figures he thought to himself. After that Castle could not fall back asleep, so he just laid there holding Kate in his arms until she was ready to wake up. Almost an hour later Kate finally opened her eyes. 

"Hi" She said shyly. 

"Hi" He responded as he reached out tucking her hair behind her ear. "How did you sleep?" He asked. 

"That is the best I have slept since I left the hospital." She said. She made no attempt to get up. She just stayed there wrapped up in her blanket and Castle. 

"Do you want to have dinner or sleep some more?" He questioned. 

"Both sound good actually. Only thing is dinner would involve me moving." She said with a smile. 

"It doesn't have to. I can make something and bring in here for you." 

" You would really go through all that trouble for me?" Kate asked. 

"I'd do anything for you." He admitted. 

"I have never had anyone make dinner or breakfast in bed." 

"Really?" He asked. 

"Really." 

"Well we are about to change that right now." 

"What am I supposed to do while I wait?" 

"Relax that is the point." 

"Ok. I think I can do that. "

"Good. Then I will be back in a short with dinner for two." He explained. 

Castle made his way into the kitchen. He could not believe that no one has ever done anything like this for this amazing woman. What the hell was wrong with them, he thought to himself. Almost an hour later Castle returned to the bedroom with their plates in his hands. Kate sat up reaching for the plate that Castle offered her. "This looks amazing." 

"Wait until you try it." He said. 

Kate didn't waste anytime as to try the meal that her wonderful partner had prepared for them. "MMM oh god this is amazing." Kate said in between bites of her dinner. 

"I am glad you approve." 

Once Kate had cleared off nearly half of her plate she declared she was full and could not eat anymore. To be honest Castle was surprised she had ate that much. It was the most he has seen her eat since he had been here with her. "That is the most I have seen you eat since I have been here." 

"Its the most I have eaten in a month." She admitted. 

"I guess that means I will have to cook for you more often then." 

"I guess so." She said. 

When Castle returned to the bedroom, after taking their dinner dishes into the kitchen he found Kate standing by the bedroom window. She was looking off into the distance and he could tell her mind was somewhere else entirely, the way she was chewing on her bottom lip gave her away. 

"What are you looking at?" He questioned. He moved as close to her as possible without his body touching hers. Kate closed her eyes briefly when she felt his breath on the back of her neck as he spoke to her. 

"Look." Kate said as she pointed off into the distance. Castle turned his attention to where she had just pointed at. Just over the tops of the trees you could see lights. 

"What is it?" 

"The fall fair." 

"Lets go then." Castle suggested. 

"Castle, we are adults." 

"And? There is no reason we cant go. No one from the 12th is here Kate. I promise its ok to have fun I wont tell anyone." 

"Fine but only if you buy me a funnel cake." She said with a child like grin. 

"Deal and if you are ready by eight I will buy you two funnel cakes and cotton candy." Castle said. 

"Is this how you bribe Alexis to do things for you?" 

"No this is how she bribes me." 

"Now that I believe." Kate said. 

Castle waited in the living room for Kate. At ten minuets till eight her heard her voice. "Did I make it in time?" She said as she walked out to where he was standing. Castle turned to say something smart ass but when he saw her every thought he had was gone. She was stunning. She had on a pair of tight fitting jeans, a red sweeter that hugged her in all the right places and her black leather jacket. Her hair was back in a braid. Castle nodded his head yes. 

"Shall we?" Castle said as he opened the door for Kate. 

The lights from the rides at the fair lit up the back drop of the October sky. It was starting to get colder now this time of year after the sun had set. This use to be her favorite time of year, The end of summer, the last of the swimming days gone. Now came the days of camping and sitting around the fires in the evening. These were the days she lived for. Castle watched her face in amazement as they made their way closer to the fair. To see this look right now on her face he would not trade for nothing in the world. This was a side of her he had never seen before, this was her, the real her, and he loved her. 

"I can feel you staring at me. Stop it its rude." She joked. She turned around to meet his eyes her nose scrunched up when she smiled. He was in deep and there was no going back now, not that he actually wanted to go back to a time or a place before he knew or loved this woman. 

"I cant help it your adorable." He said. 

Kate bit her lip and looked away from him, she never was good at taking a compliment. "Come on you owe me a funnel cake." Kate said. 

"Actually if memory serves I owe you two funnel cakes and cotton candy. You think your up for all that?" He asked. 

"Guess you will have to find out Castle." She said as she let go of his arm and took off. Castle stood there momentarily frozen by what was going on with therm. Kate had only made it about three feet away when she stopped. She turned to face him, both hands on her hips, she asked, "Are you coming Castle?"" 

Castle caught up to Kate, "If you thought you could get rid of me that easy you are wrong." 

"Good." 

The two of them mingled their way through crowd. Castle noticed how Kate stayed attached to his arm. He wondered if it was her choice or if it was her way of keeping herself calm so she did not panic with all the people that surrounded them. 

"So what do you usually do when you come here? Half these rides look like they make me sick." 

"When we came to the fair it wasn't about ridding rides, it was just about being here. Taking in everything, the lights, the crappy ass music, the greasy food, and the games were always fun especially when my dad won stuff for me." Kate explained. 

Castle looked around then he spotted a game he knew he was good at, Something he always played when he won things for Alexis. 

"Then let me win something for you." He suggested. The two of them made their way over to the game that Castle had chosen. After the game was done and Castle was declared a winner he turned to Kate. "What will it be?" He asked her. 

"Choose for me." 

"Alright lets go with the unicorn." Castle told them man behind the table. The man retrieved the unicorn and handed it over to Kate. 

"And here I half ass expected you go with the giant teddy bear." Kate said. 

"Giant teddy bears are for normal girls. You are magical." Castle explained. 

Castle noticed when Kate started holding her side. "Hey you ok?" 

"Yeah sometimes it just pulls." 

"Lets get back so you can rest, no need to over do it for one day." He said. 

"There is one more thing I want to do before we go." 

"What is that?" He asked. 

"Follow me." Kate said. 

'


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter there is going to be a short second part that will go with this after they return to the city and Kate goes back to work.

A few moments later they were standing at the bottom of the Ferris wheel. "You are not afraid of heights are you Castle?" She asked. 

"No." 

"Good." Kate said. 

The view from here was incredible you could see the entire town lit below. This is what Kate had always imagined the view from Heaven must look like to the angels who looked down over the living. The silence between the two of them was overwhelming, and there was something there, something the two of them shared that nobody in her life had ever came close to. Kate wasn't afraid to let him see sides of her she tried to keep hidden. Kate didn't know why or how it happened, but it did. She had fallen in love with Richard Castle. 

"This was her favorite thing to do when we came to the fair." 

"Your mom?" He asked. 

Kate nodded. "The last time I sat with her on one of these we were talking about my plan to go to law school. 11 months later she was murdered. When I got shot all I could think of was what I was leaving behind. An unfinished life, a life with regrets, I don't want that anymore. I don't want to take anything for granted anymore." 

"What do you want?" He dared to ask almost afraid of the answer he was going to receive but he had to know. 

"You Castle. Just you." She said. She held her breath after the words had left her mouth. She waited for him to shut her down, to turn her away,but the words never came. Castle reached out gently taking her hand in his own. He leaned in and captured her lips for their first real kiss. Her lips were soft and sweet against his. Her taste was something he would never get use too. She was all he had ever dreamed about and now here he was and his dreams were coming true. He pulled back, her eyes were wide the passion, a passion and a life that he hadn't seen there in sometime to be honest. Looking into her eyes.. well it was like coming home, it was everything. It didn't matter how he tried to explain it or what words he tried to use, the truth was there was no words to compare to her or to explain everything he was feeling right now in the moment. 

"You have me Kate, you always have since the day I met you." He said. 

Neither one of them was sure what to say on the ride back to the cabin, but their hands never left each others. Her eyes barely left his as he drove them home. His eyes glanced over to her every chance he got. A part of him was sure he was still dreaming, that he was going to wake up any moment laying in that bed next to her. He had to take the chance every know and then of gently squeezing her hand or touching her knee to make sure she was real and he was in fact awake and not living in one of his dream worlds again. 

"How about I make a fire?" Castle suggested. 

"Sounds nice." Kate said as she shred her leather jacket. 

Kate watched him move around the room effortlessly. Once he had the fire going to his satisfaction, he sat down on the floor with his back against one of those ugly ass chairs he had despised since the first moment he laid eyes on them. 

"Come here." He said as he reached his hand out to her.Kate stood and moved over to him. Carefully she settled herself on the ground between his legs until she was nestled comfortably against him. Castle wrapped both his arms around her waist and laid his head on her shoulder. "You ok?" He asked. 

"Yeah." She said softly. Kate rubbed her fingers off the back of his hand that was currently holding her against him. "What happens when we go back home? Does this end with us when we leave here?" She asked. 

"Kate, this doesn't end for me just because are time here will soon be ending. And as far as going back home I'm still going to be there for you, to help you readjust to work. To do whatever it is you need me to do. If you want space then I will give you that, if you want to call me at 2 am cause you had a nightmare and want me to come over I will do that too. Nothing changes when we leave here Kate. I am not letting you go now that I have just got you." He explained. 

Kate smiled and laid back against his shoulder. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"For not giving up on me." 

"I will never give up on you. You are stuck with me." He said. 

"You promise?" 

"Always." Castle said as he kissed the side of her neck. 

***********

Kate stood in the same place she two weeks ago right before Castle had arrived at her doorstep. She looked out over the lake and took everything in one last time. This time she didn't look out and wonder what would become of her, she didn't fear tomorrow, she look forward to moving on. Two weeks and three days and so much had changed. Its crazy how time moves on its own accord.

The fall air was quickly turning to winter and the frost on the ground in the morning was all the proof you needed. As much as Kate had enjoyed the past two weeks here it was time to move on, it was time to go back to the life she had left behind. It was time for her to face the world again. Castle closed the trunk of the car just has he finished loading the last of their bags in it. He saw the sadness in her eyes and she looked over the land one last time and he knew. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't hear Castle approaching her from behind, so when he wrapped his arms around her she jumped. "Its ok its just me." He said dropping a kiss to her shoulder. 

"Sorry." She said as she let her body relax into him. 

"We are all ready to go." 

"I am going to miss this place." Kate said as one lonely tear fell from her hazel eyes. 

"We could come back here in the summer." 

"I don't think so." She said. 

"You are not planning on coming back are you?" 

"No." 

He didn't need further explanation to her reason he understood perfectly. He hoped that one day there would be a time that he could bring her here without her thinking of her mother's death or he nearly her own. He knew until her mother's case was done until it was laid to rest she would never be able to enjoy this place. Maybe one day she would even thank this place for bringing them together, but today...today was not that day. 

Her entire life all she ever wanted was someone to be there for her. Someone who would chase her to the farthest corners of the Earth it that is what it took. Someone who knew her better then she knew herself, now after all these years of searching she finally had everything she ever wanted. 

Kate turned and walked towards the car, "Are you coming?" 

"I will go wherever you will go." He replied with a wide grin. 

(If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all  
In between the sand and stone could you make it on your own?  
If I could then I would go anywhere you will go   
Way up high or down low  
I will go wherever you will go  
Runaway with my heart  
Runaway with my soul  
In your heart and your mind  
I will stay with you for all time.) 

-"Wherever you will go" Song by the Calling


End file.
